Category Archives: Blog Rants

I made a Book!

Heart.jpegIllustration for “Star Worries”

I made a book of poems and drawings about dinosaurs, anxieties, sexy ladies, Batman, Starwars and more… so much more. I ordered a stack and now my new favorite thing to do is draw in somebody’s book before it gets to them. It’s like legal vandalism! The funnest kind of vandalism(it’s how you get that same feeling the president must get every time he congratulates himself for something horrible).

It’s called Anxieties and Happy Little Trees, because that’s what some of it is about…
It’s book 2 in the ‘Sometimes I rhyme Library’….and now I’m going to work on book 3. Please enjoy.

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Get Your copy of the book here
http://www.nosuchthingasgrownups.com/poetrybook

 

 

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2016/2017 the Poem.

Bathroom poem.jpg

Dog Naps with a side of Snuggle-fries.

Every day at around 11:30am the dog tries to take a nap while I try to make art and videos.

I used to think that before his nap,  he was trying to let me know he had to go outside to pee in the yard. Now I know that’s not the case.

He would stare, or try to grab my hand and take me to what I though was the door. Sometimes he does a little silent bark, like a little finigin sock puppet. Regardless, he was just never really satisfied with whatever I thought he was thinking.

I eventually figured out that no matter how old he gets, he still just wants to use me as a pillow like he did when he was a tiny puppy.

He’ll jump up on the couch. Try to find a comfy place for a minute. Then jump down and come stare at me and occasionally look at the couch. As if to say, “The couch is broken, please fix it.” So I do. It’s the easiest thing to fix in the world. So easy that I can fix it with my butt.

He jumps up on the couch that I fixed by sitting on it and in less than 2 minutes, starts snoring with his eyes open until he is completely asleep. I wish I could could say it’s a huge inconvenience. But it’s the best way to think about what I’m going to have for lunch.

It is also the best way to accidentally fall asleep in the middle of the day. Which can be a huge inconvenience. Some people might also think that stopping to smell the roses is an inconvenient waste of time. I find that inconvenient times are the times when stories start, or you have time to think about the stories that are already happening.

Either way, this particular rose smells like popcorn farts today.

This week’s Video that we made between naps is, A Labyrinth for Christmas. Which you can Watch now.

www.NosuchThingAsGrownups.Com

​Winter is Always Coming

It’s that time of year when I add yet another blanket to the bed. The same time of year I try to figure out a way to live my life from under these comforting comforter blankets.

I usually don’t think of any reasonable solution aside from finding a crazy rich lady. One who thinks I’m adorable when I’m wrapped in blankets and does everything in her power to keep me there and happy. Kind of like all those memes about how to “keep your woman happy”.
Sure I’d get bored of it like the meme-women do. The winter months, however, would be pure bliss though. Pure bliss and hot apple pie from the grocery store(I assume)

The other option is to set up all the gear for my YouTube Morning show in my bedroom. Just wake up and say, “Morning Everybody!” Then talk about how great it is to be a blanket-person. Then complain about how difficult it is to get food delivery people to come to your bedroom.
Of course interviewing the delivery people that ARE willing could be fun, until I realize they steal from me. It’s just a fact that everything in the next room would be fair game. A real good-news/bad=news situation.

Like Lisa Simpson paraphrased, “Crisis and Opportunity are the same thing”. The crisis of getting out of bed in Canada is also the opportunity to reboot my own version of “the Big Comfy Couch” which would be “Curtis’ Collection of Comfy Comforters”.

If you’re already watching the show each Friday, you know I already have cartoon characters and puppets to talk too. There has even been a clown. Sure it set me on fire…but it was a warm Christmassy fire. The only thing I seem to be doing wrong with this show… is getting out of bed.
Every show thus far, is delivered by sitting in fun chairs with interesting weirdos. But only Joan Rivers did her YouTube show from bed, and it was great. I’ll just be adding more blankets and imaginary guests. It sounds like a good formula for happiness… therefore it must be!

Now that I’m down to 20% battery power I have to decide to make some changes: so that my own little world fits me, or to get out of bed and try to fit in the world around me? It’s a tough decision filled with crisis and opportunity.

In the end I have to think, episode 46 was the best I’ve done so far. There’s no way to make an episode 46 from my bed. Charging alone requires getting an extension cord in here. I can’t possibly sleep with a pile of electricity filled cords surrounding my bed like sleepy eels. Another crisis. Easily solved by the opportunities I’ve already created in the next room.

I’ve also managed to avoid learning about “bed-sores” my whole life. First-hand is not the way I plan to learn about them. So I’ll get up, open curtains and lights and follow my imaginary heroes the Muppet’s and the Loony Tunes because – on with the show… this is it.

Winter will always be here or on its way. So will crisis which means there is always another opportunity with which to warm One’s self from the inside out.

Like a Clown-fire.

Click here for more contest info and to enter.


www.nosuchthingasgrownups.com/contest

Anybody can Enter! Draw, Paint, Photoshop, 3D… Whatever you do. I can’t wait to see it.
Have Fun and Post your art on Facebook.com/MorningEveryBody to be participate.

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nARTcissistic Art Contest

Not too Long ago my fantastic friend Tara wrote a rant about how Art contests should be called “Shart contests”. Because they’re more like a shitty fart than an actual contest a person can compete it. Which is true. She also said it’s okay to enter an art contest as long as it’s for fun. If you enter expecting to win based on artistic merit you will be in for a world of disappointment. Art is subjective and people are the weirdest judges of things.

While she ranted about this I’d entered into an animation contest. A contest that was kind of fun but at a certain point I realized, “This contest isn’t all about me.” I could enjoy it, but like most things in my life: I didn’t just want to be in the contest, I wanted to be the contest. So I thought good and hard about the entire history of the world (As one should always do when making a decision).

Back in the days when I supervised an animation studio full of maniacs, I had business cards. About a thousand business cards. I handed out 6 or 7 of those thousand. One of them is still on my mom’s fridge today.

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Everybody used a hi-contrast photo of themselves for their card. When they got to the art nerds: Ron Doucet, James Boyd and Me… we said, “No, we’ll draw ours”. Which super irritated Mike the graphic design engineer (It was fun to irritate Mike). After we submitted our images, some of the “normal” Nonimators wanted cartoon versions of themselves too… we had started a thing and ruined Mike’s week. It was a good week.

The open box of business cards sat on my desk… forever. Animators and visitors would ask, “what are these for?” Then never take one when I said, “They’re for people to take.” Until one day somebody drew on one and added to the the name and/or job title. It was meant to be hurtful but still funny. Later people started using white out to remove the drawing and add their own. Eventually the secret was revealed that you could simply erase what you wanted. With a common house hold pencil eraser. After that people would stop by to grab a handful at a time. One animator said, “What if you run out?” and I replied, “That’s just the first box, there’s another 500 cards in the drawer.”

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I posted them all on the wall, even the offensive cards. One person asked what it was for. I asked them what they meant by that. They seemed to think it was some kind of contest, that there was some kind of ending. I said, “No. I’ve asked nobody to do any of these. Not one of them. People just do them. They sometimes ask permission for some reason, but other than that, no… there is no reason but fun”. I should have given out prizes. But I didn’t. I just did my job and occasionally posted a business card on the wall. People were often offended if I didn’t put theirs on the wall right away.

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So within my survey of all of time I decided the “Draw-Me” contest was never officially finished or started. So I made an official: Draw Milo and Me Contest with Prizes.

screen-shot-2016-10-18-at-5-55-50-pmI’m both excited and terrified to see how people see me. It’s probably a huge mistake, but most fun stories start with at least one weird mistake…

…Here’s the video of the beginning of this particular mistake.

 

Click here for more contest info and to enter.
www.nosuchthingasgrownups.com/contest

Anybody can Enter! Draw, Paint, Photoshop, 3D… Whatever you do. I can’t wait to see it.
Have Fun and Post your art on Facebook.com/MorningEveryBody to be participate.

contest_website_cover

 

Fun Facts, Ear Buds, and Zac Morris

BlueTooth Headphones are the greatest! The… Great.. essT. Super Greg Number One, even.

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My old wireless headphones were as big as two Zac Morris Cell Phones, Plus you had to be in the same room as the base which was another Zac-Phone and a half that needed a wall plug.
Now I can go anywhere with normal sized headphones playing music from my phone or computer or whatever.
So, Yeah. We’ll lose airpods like crazy, and I can tell by looking at them that they’d fall out of my li’l ear-hole in 3 steps… But those Airpods are probably the best. Like, the absolute best? Not the first Gen, of course. But AirPods 3 will be fantastic for sure… when they come with some device upgrade, or show up free in the mail with a signed picture of Bono.

Reg BlueTooth headphones are great though. There’s a thing they’re attached to, so you don’t lose them. Plus the “Thing” part has buttons to adjust volume and skip songs (and answer phones if that’s a thing you do). I bet the Zac Morris of today would love these over that weird Bluetooh ear-piece.

Maybe the Earpods 4 will be great ones. I don’t want to get anybody’s hopes up about the Gen3’s over here. I’m Kinda’ just killing time really. My Brand new Mac is in the shop… display is flickering constantly. Fresh out the box. Sounds super common on the internet.

Hey, Remember when apple was the greatest thing? Yeah, Me too.
What were we just talking about today? Ah Yes BlueTooth Headphones are fantactic, Bluetooth earpieces are gross and always remember… Zac Morris could stop time!

The End.
#FunFacts #MorningEveryBody

 

Speaking of headphones; Here’s a show about Music, Dancing, RoboCop and Cartoons!

 Click here to Watch and Subscribe on YouTube.

Also Listen to the Podcast on iTunes. Plus we have books, art, comics and more on our site.
www.NoSuchThingAsGrownups.Com

The Squirrel Debate

 

Everyone is probably not talking about the Squirrel Debate. I am actually wondering if there is a squirrel debate. There probably isn’t. But what if there was?

squirrel_blood
I just saw about 59, or a thousand squirrels in the past 2 days. Plus, I was just followed down the street by this one squirrel. A squirrel that parkoured over and through everything near and far. Always keeping an eye on me like a CG character. This British guy was like, “When they look at you, you can see they’re figuring things out. Systematically testing the fences.”
Are they CG? It would make more sense to me if you told me some algorithms were animating them. That way I’d know that they’re ability to defy all gravity and law, would be harmless. Existing to amuse me and make the world a better place.
But this squirrel was mostly showing me that it could jump as high as my throat. It also made sure I knew it could perform complicated actions in mid-air. It’s claws could could obviously cut through tree trunks without a second thought about the environment or people that care about me.
It just parkoured in that way you do, when you’re about to tear someone’s throat out and say, “Yes! The squirrels are just taking over now… on a Tuesday! We’re the kings of the Matrix Shit-head! We can upside-down!”
Then they do. They just take over. They’re quick. Sooo quick.

No I don’t think we need a Preemptive strike. I’m not saying let’s throw around acts of war. Not at all.
I am however, terrified of America.
I’m not even going to point at anything specific. Just. All of it.

I’m hoping that “meanwhile in Canada” my biggest worry is maaaaybe… these squirrels eh?
Or whatever you got. I can probably jump on board with your thing instead. Too many Deer on your Snowmobile trail? Bacon prices? They’re crazy right? Way crazier than that other thing that’s going crazy down there. Ya’ know… super deadly squirrels.

Seriously though. That thing was moving like it was being directed by Ang Lee.

The End.

 

Now you Want to listen to a show that’s not about Squirrels or Trump?… Here it is!

No Such Thing As Grown Ups!

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 Click here to Watch and Subscribe on YouTube.

Plus we have books, art, and more on our site.
www.NoSuchThingAsGrownups.Com