Facebook is a nonstop Starwars-opening-text list of thoughts, opinions, lies, information and an update on when people are going to do their dishes(They’re not).
It can get crazy boring, crazy fast… but it can also just get crazy.My favorite Batman quote from Micheal Keaton is, “You wanna’ get nuts? …Let’s get nuts!” Surprisingly he’s not in costume and he’s not asking Alfred to go pick of crate of pistachios. The Joker is acting nuts and the only way for a poor Bruce to instill fear is to be crazier than the crazy guy. Often in Life, prison rules apply.
(It says “Let’s get nuts” on the back of this trading card… I promise)
Sometimes I combine prison rules and clever word play to retaliate against posts that are not at all directed at me. I call it #FacebookJustice. It’s meaningless and it makes me look like a monster… but… I feel like I’m a good monster. Like Cookie Monster or Ludo.
Last night a friend posted an article and he had a funny comment/opinion on how ridiculous people can really be. I didn’t think he… got nuts enough. So I said, “Alfred! Get me the big bag of Pistachios!”
There was more… but this it the part where I wish this other guy was my friend, just so I could have the satisfaction of being unfriended by him.
It’s not always intentionally subversive. Sometimes I get loud and crazy just to make people laugh with no intention of calling people a stupid racist. If somebody simply mentions Jurassic Park or a superhero or… doesn’t actually matter the topic. I’m always fighting myself not to get Facebook-Nuts.
This is what happens when you’re my Facebook friend… Is this a warning or a promise? Well that is up to you. Now go to sleep.
Then Wake up And Watch My Show Every Friday! And Friend/Follow me/us for your chance to have me leave a big bucket of pistachio-nuts on your Facebook Doorstep.
Also Listen and Subscribe to our weekly audio Show No Such Thing As Grown ups!
This week was Episode 133: Tragically Harry Potter. It’s nuts x100.
“So? You want be my Facebook friend? It’s more fun than scary. C’mon… Let’s get nuts. I’ll drive.