Tag Archives: canada

The Squirrel Debate

 

Everyone is probably not talking about the Squirrel Debate. I am actually wondering if there is a squirrel debate. There probably isn’t. But what if there was?

squirrel_blood
I just saw about 59, or a thousand squirrels in the past 2 days. Plus, I was just followed down the street by this one squirrel. A squirrel that parkoured over and through everything near and far. Always keeping an eye on me like a CG character. This British guy was like, “When they look at you, you can see they’re figuring things out. Systematically testing the fences.”
Are they CG? It would make more sense to me if you told me some algorithms were animating them. That way I’d know that they’re ability to defy all gravity and law, would be harmless. Existing to amuse me and make the world a better place.
But this squirrel was mostly showing me that it could jump as high as my throat. It also made sure I knew it could perform complicated actions in mid-air. It’s claws could could obviously cut through tree trunks without a second thought about the environment or people that care about me.
It just parkoured in that way you do, when you’re about to tear someone’s throat out and say, “Yes! The squirrels are just taking over now… on a Tuesday! We’re the kings of the Matrix Shit-head! We can upside-down!”
Then they do. They just take over. They’re quick. Sooo quick.

No I don’t think we need a Preemptive strike. I’m not saying let’s throw around acts of war. Not at all.
I am however, terrified of America.
I’m not even going to point at anything specific. Just. All of it.

I’m hoping that “meanwhile in Canada” my biggest worry is maaaaybe… these squirrels eh?
Or whatever you got. I can probably jump on board with your thing instead. Too many Deer on your Snowmobile trail? Bacon prices? They’re crazy right? Way crazier than that other thing that’s going crazy down there. Ya’ know… super deadly squirrels.

Seriously though. That thing was moving like it was being directed by Ang Lee.

The End.

 

Now you Want to listen to a show that’s not about Squirrels or Trump?… Here it is!

No Such Thing As Grown Ups!

play_Button

 Click here to Watch and Subscribe on YouTube.

Plus we have books, art, and more on our site.
www.NoSuchThingAsGrownups.Com

 

 

I am a 22 year old Non-Grown Up

Hey there everybody! My name is Ryan Atkinson and I’m a Non-Grown Up.

So what is a Grown Up? Well obviously if you’re here, you’ve at least heard that there’s really no such thing. Grown up is a made up concept concocted by the man to keep people down. Maybe it wasn’t intended as that but that’s what has happened.

I’ve done some looking around through a handful of websites searching just what makes a person a Grown Up and here are a few very common examples of what I’ve found (paraphrased of course):

Get a job

Listen to all older adults

Worry about future you, to hell with you right now

Don’t follow your emotions

A surprising amount of “Accept you will die” (Not all that bad I suppose but still surprising to see it so frequently)

Quit having expectations.

Be an all around dickhead to everyone all the time.

There are tons more these are just common ones I’ve found on more than one site.

To be a Non-Grown Up is pretty simple. Just be you. Want to write about people with super powers or draw pictures of dragons and fairies? Want to make industrial furniture? Maybe you want to open a zoo. Want to be a firefighter? Friggin do it. Do what makes you happy as often as you can. Do it SO much that you get damn good at it and make your living with it. Don’t let yourself get stuck at some bullshit job you hate that’s making you miserable just because someone else who is pretending to be a grown up told you that you have to do it to be successful.

You might not get rich in the wallet and hell, you friggin well might. But you’ll for sure be rich in spirit. You know what successful really is? It’s not going to the bank and having a million dollars waiting there for you. It’s not having a 12 bedroom house and a guest house and 5 cars and a cottage and a boat. All successful is, is being happy. When you put your head down at the end of the day even if you’re in a small studio apartment with a leaky faucet and you’ve got a smile on your face, you’re successful.

And not to say a 12 bedroom house and a million bucks just sitting there in your bank account wouldn’t be bad ass. It’s just not necessary.

Happiness is the most important thing in the world and don’t let anyone tell you any different. Now understandably we all have bills. Some of which we shouldn’t have (but I’ll save that for another day) but bills nonetheless. Jobs are one thing. If you flip burgers, flip the literal shit out of those burgers. Scoop popcorn like me? You damn well better scoop the hell out of it. Make the best of it and when you aren’t doing the grind to make sure the power stays on, hone your craft and then jump into it feet first. AND DREAM DAMMIT, DREAM. Don’t let anyone tell you that your dream is stupid. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t. Unless it’s something like.. “I want to walk barefoot on that lava and not get burnt”. Well.. Sorry but you can’t do that. I mean.. You probably can DO it but you’ll get burnt before your foot touches down. I think you need a nap.

But it’s not always that easy is it? So many people have fallen into the guise of needing to “Act your age” that people have forgotten about happiness. We grow up in a society where from the day we get pooped out we’re told what to do and what not to do. What we can and what we can’t. What we should and what we shouldn’t.

To be fair, there are some things that we should and shouldn’t do. Do be nice to people, it costs you nothing. Don’t murder or rape people, that’s bad. Do feed your dog, he can’t open the can on his own.

But unfortunately it’s not that simple. Instead of just the common sense things that deep down most people know to do or not to do, we’re told ridiculous things. Don’t daydream. Don’t colour that zebra yellow. Don’t waste your time writing that story. Get off the counter.

One of my favourite book series in high school was the Cirque Du Freak series by Darren Shan. Its about a young half vampire (Named Darren Shan.. Good one Darren) and the shenanigans that ensue. It’s geared for young adults but it’s young adult horror, not young adult romance. Its more what vampires should be. But I’m getting off track, the reason I brought it up is because they made a very okay movie out of the first three books in the series called Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant and they paraphrased some dialogue in the book for the movie and it fits the Grown Up mentality to a T.

Darren got into some trouble in school with his best friend Steve for throwing some rocks and putting out a light. He obviously gets suspended for it (Now to be fair, Darren busted school property, he should have gotten suspended. That’s one of those common sense things. Don’t break other people’s shit) . He goes home and his old man is furious. Darren’s dad screams some stuff about what a disappointment he is being and that he won’t amount to anything being like that and says to him

“College, job, family. COLLEGE, JOB, FAMILY!! IT’S NOT THAT HARD!!”

Sound familiar? Maybe not those three exact things. Maybe not your dad, maybe it was your mom, your grandfather, a school teacher, your soccer coach. Chances are a good chunk of people have heard something along those lines from someone in their life.

And I know for a fact that some people haven’t and that is so amazing. If I ever have kids one thing I’ll never do is tell them that their dream is stupid.

Take me for example. I’m in the process of putting out my first comic book. Someone in my life, that one would hope would be encouraging, has told me from day one and pretty much once a week since that I’m wasting my time. The reason they keep saying that? I won’t make much money, so it’s a waste of time. That’s correct in one aspect I suppose. I don’t expect to make any money on it. I’ll most likely lose some money on it.

But let’s break this down, shall we?

I thought up an idea one day. I wrote that idea down. I re-wrote it again and again until I decided that the idea was up to par. I showed it to some people and they gave some tips and pointers on what they think would make it better. A friend I knew from high school who probably had better things to do took the time to do up some quick concept artwork for me free of charge. I then opened a Twitter account for my book with JUST that concept artwork to show and quickly gained hundreds of followers. Then I decided because of that amount of followers to see if some people would be interested in doing some pinup artwork for me to just be featured in the book, I had no money to pay for anything and I made that clear to anyone who wanted to submit before they did any work but I found some amazing artists who were just happy to contribute. And things just took off from there. The plan is to have everything released for next year’s East Coast Comic Expo. I met some really good friends because of this thing, people I would have never met otherwise. I get to write reviews and articles for this very website because of my stupid idea. Tara approached me at last years ECCE and got me to do a Day In The Life Of An Artist article and we kept in touch very slightly on Facebook and one day I mentioned that I’d be interested in something like this and it happened almost that same day. I get to see something I thought up in my head made REAL and that’s worth every cent I put into this, every hour I spend on it a billion times over.

Now that all being said. I understand Grown Ups. We get brought up thinking we’re supposed to be something and when we don’t quite get there, we seemingly become the failures we’ve been warned against being since forever.

Grown Ups might not be real but Grown Up problems are.

I’ve had my fair share of shitty days. I’ve got a pretty bad anxiety problem too.

It’s so bad that I’ve made sure my dad has a special code ring for my door bell so I know when it’s him when he comes over and not to ignore the ringing. I stand at my apartment door listening for anyone in the hallway before I leave so I don’t have to speak to anyone in my building. I always use the self checkouts at stores when they have them and unless it’s something I just HAVE to have, if I find something that’s 50% off that I kinda want I’ll just leave it there on the shelf if the want or need to have it is outweighed by the fear of having to call over the self checkout attendant so they can ring it in.

These articles and reviews? Man I’m surprised I was able to do the first Day In The Life article. All these people reading stuff that I wrote that isn’t fiction, it’s my thoughts and feelings about a particular piece of work that is completely arguable and only my personal opinion. What if my personal opinion offends the creators? I’ve been fortunate enough that most of the creators that have reached out for me to review their stuff have had things that I really enjoy, but there’s one that I am hesitant to do a review for because the creator is a super nice guy from our emails anyway, what if I hurt his feelings because I don’t like his book? Sheesh..

OH!

And the WORST as of late is my building is getting Bell FiberOp put in. I didn’t sign up for it but my landlord is getting the cables installed in the whole building so I recieved a letter of notice slipped under my door that either on on November 5th or November 6th between 9am-5pm on either day a technician would be in to install the cables. Being told they were coming was bad enough but to be so vague? Sheesh.. So that Wednesday night I stayed up all night to make sure I was awake for 9 and didn’t oversleep to make sure that I actually let them in, so that they didn’t knock and me be asleep and not answer so they just walk right in. They didn’t show up on the 5th. So I went to sleep at about 6pm Thursday the 5th and woke up at about 2am Friday the 6th. They showed up around 3pm-ish. They were only here for about 10 minutes so I didn’t scream in my head for very long at least but the kicker? “All right we’ll be back next week to finish up”.

Next week?!

What happened to between 9-5 on either the 5th or 6th?

Why couldn’t you put on the wall plate today instead of just pulling the wire through the wall? Will it be you or will another technician be working then? Why did you take your boots off, I put towels down for you.

So I got another notice slipped under my door a couple days ago that they’ll be back either on Tuesday the 10th or Thursday the 12th, between 9-5 both days. The gap because the Wednesday in there is Rememberance Day so they don’t have to work. So I repeated the staying up all night Monday so I know I’ll be awake on time Tuesday, staying home all day instead of going out at all to make sure they don’t come in when I’m not home and they didn’t even show up. So now with the gap in between I’ll be up all night tonight (It’s Wednesday as I’m writing this) to make sure that I’m around tomorrow when they show up.

Another thing that I do is ignore or avoid people that I really have no reason to. Tara and Curtis run this website. I only speak to Tara. I’ve met Tara in person and I’ve spoke to only her about anything at all to do with articles or approvals or anything at all. No reason why I don’t speak with Curtis other than he’s sort of new. I’m sure I would enjoy speaking with him as much as I do with Tara. But new people? No fanks.

Oh! And the extent of my online dating “game” is messaging first with a “Hey There! :)”. So if that peaks your interest… Ladies 😉

Jeez I’m a mess.

Sorry about that  hahahaha

My point is though, I have those stupid problems. Listening through my door? Ridiculous. But I’m being me.

Don’t be a Grown Up because Grown Ups don’t really exist. Adults do, you should be an adult (once you’re an adult). But just be you. Live your life how you want it, let everyone else live the lives that they want. If listening through your apartment door so you don’t have to talk to Linda (even though she’s a very nice old lady who even gives you free Russel Stover mini boxes of chocolate every now and then) makes your life easier, go for it. Do whatever makes you, you (as long as it doesn’t hurt others of course).

Be as silly as you want to be. Get all those tattoos, cut your hair how you want, dress up in costumes. Matching socks? Who has time for that nonsense? Just be your version of you, not the version people want you to be.

I’m fat, I like comic books, good movies, bad movies and Doctor Who. I like to stay by myself all the time except when I don’t want to be. I talk like cartoon characters to myself, I write stories. I work at a movie theater and I have probably way too many posters on my living room wall. I’ve got a bunch of tattoos, my eyes are blue, I write reviews for No Such Thing As Grown Ups. I like punk music and I like the blues. Jazz and others are also good too. I hate doing my dishes. Heights scare me but not as much as people. I look like an idiot in my high school grad photo.

I’m Ryan.

I’m an adult.

I’m a Non-Grown Up.

No Such Thing As Reviews #9: Warsick’s Self titled Album! Independent Comic and Pop Culture reviews.

Hello everyone and welcome to this week’s edition of No Such Thing As Reviews! Otherwise known as Never Steal a Tardis And Run. I’m Ryan Atkinson and every week here on No Such Thing As Reviews, we’ll be reviewing a plethora of pop culture and wonderful things! Independent comic books, T.V., movies and more! The reviews will consist of a brief overview of what we will be reviewing, a summary of the content (spoiler alert!!), my personal thoughts on the content including a rating out of 5 and whenever possible we will include an interview with the creators!

Over the last couple weeks we’ve been taking a step away from comic books to review some other pieces of indie pop culture and this week is no different! Next week we’ll get back to comics, I promise! But this week? It’s going to be WAY different. I’m sure it can be argued that music isn’t necessarily pop culture. I would argue that you’re wrong and also you’re a weenie.

This week on No Such Thing As Reviews I’ll be reviewing Moncton New Brunswick local punk band Warsick’s debut self titled album. Warsick is made up of members Metal Mat on vocals, Ragin’ James on bass, Rob on drums and Mitchie Dagger on Guitar.

warsick image

Warsick is a fast, crusty, loud punk band, plain and simple and they do it well. They’ve played tons of shows around town, had a small tour of Quebec and Ontario this past spring and recently opened for Cancer Bats when they came to Moncton last month.

The track list is as follows:

1: Human Filth
2: Buried Alive
3: End Of Days
4: Enough Is Enough
5: Decapitated (Broken Bones Cover)
6: Wasteland
7: Violence

Clocking in at just over 14 minutes long they stick around long enough to punch your ear holes in the face and then take off before they know what hit them.

While I really enjoy this whole album, my favourite track has got to be the closing track, violence.

I would recommend this band to anyone who likes their music fast, loud and angry. Even if you don’t still give them a shot! You never know what you’ll like until you try!

I had the pleasure of speaking with Mitchie Dagger, the guitarist of Warsick about his creative process and some other topics and you can find that interview below!

What part do you play in the creative process?

“Well I’m not 100% percent sure what you mean haha. But I play both rhythm and lead guitar. We all write songs for the band. Like let’s say ill write a whole song sometimes. The guitar & bass riffs, and the lyrics. But I’m not a drummer so I Ieave that to Rob. But sometimes I’ll go into a jam and we just randomly come up with a new riff, and beat. Then Mat throws down some disgusting awesome lyrics and BAM we have a new song.”

How did the band come together?

“The band was originally “Rabid Reaction” but their guitar player quit shortly after this awesome show at The Caveau. I think part of him leaving was because the singer Mat kicked me in the chest during that set and knocked me down so hard I smacked my head off the concrete floor. They were known to kick people during sets so I didn’t really care too much. I was drunk, and I loved Rabid Reaction. So then after months go by I was approached by Mat at a show my old band I was in “Fear Agent” played (I was the singer) and he asked me if I’d be the new guitar player for Rabid Reaction. But he wanted to maybe change the name and style of the music, make a new band basically. So I replied with “Fuck yeah” and I just had to wait a few months for my shoulder to heal from getting surgery.”

Where has been your favourite place to play a show so far?

” I’d say my favourite place to play so far would totally be House Of Targ in Ottawa, Ontario. The people who run that place are super nice, and their Perogies kick ass! They have so many pinball, and arcade machines you feel like you’re a kid again. The night we played there was at a festival called “Bleak Life 2” and we actually played the 2nd night of that festival, we played with BLANKS 77. The crowd response for us was insane and awesome (considering we played on the pogo night and not the crusty street punk night). I would play there again in a heartbeat.”

Have you written any songs that you loved when you wrote them but hate to play now?

“No way, I write songs and will never bring them to the guys if I’m not 100% sure this song is wicked. But when the day comes of a song I hate to play I’ll let you know! Haha.”

What has been the biggest challenge as a band so far?

“The biggest challenge?… I honestly cant think of a big challenge we had. Maybe when we went on tour in the end of April this year we were just outside of Fredericton, and our tire almost blew, we lost air in it and it was leaking fast. So we were stuck on the side of the highway for about 2 hours or more. We couldn’t figure out how to get the spare tire off under the vehicle. It was rusted and seized on like a mother fucker. But we finally got it off, and then had to stop at a random garage to get the tire filled and put back on the suburban. We made it to Sherbrooke, Quebec like RIGHT on time for the first night of our tour.”

If you could only give one piece of advice for aspiring creators (Be it music, writing or any other means) what would it be? 

“Don’t give up on it, that’s the stupidest thing anyone can do when trying to accomplish anything. Work hard at it and if it still won’t work, drink a beer and go at it again.”

Where can people access your music?

“If anyone wants to hear us we have a bandcamp page with our first ever recordings on there Warsick.bandcamp.com . Plus we have a one sided 7” Flexi titled “Wasteland” and you can pick that up from our singer Mat O’Blenis directly from his distro “ROTTING HEAD RECORDS” or come to one of our shows and we would gladly sell you one, only five bones!”

What is your dream lineup for a show including Warsick? 

“Dream line up would be with Discharge, Broken Bones, and Wolfbrigade. But that’s just me haha. That’ll most likely NEVER happen. So I’m pretty pumped to play with anyone really. I love performing. Playing with local bands is wicked!

When can we expect the next Warsick album?

“We’re going to write over the winter months and play way less shows. So maybe by mid-end spring of 2016. We’ve been slack lately for writing tunes, We’re playing a lot haha..”

What are your personal favourite bands?

” My favourite bands hmmm I’ll give you a list of 5 not in any order. Circle Jerks, Discharge, Broken Bones, WolfBrigade, and my all time favourite local band, HARD CHARGER. These guys blow me away every time I fucking see them. They’re off the hook! I’d suggest anyone who’s into fast music to give these guys a listen they rule. hardcharger.bandcamp.com ”

I’d like to thank Mitchie for taking part in this week’s interview! You can find Warsick on Facebook by following this link!

I’ll be reviewing their other album Wasteland at another time and hopefully I’ll get to speak with another member of the band!

Thank you all for reading! If you’re an independent  creator and would like to have your work reviewed please contact me directly at atkinsonryang@gmail.com and I’ll get back to you asap!

If you have any suggestions for next weeks alternate acronym (N.S.T.A.R.) leave a comment below!

I’ve been Ryan Atkinson and remember, there’s no such thing as reviews!

No Such Thing as Grown Up Teachers: BEd Assignment and General Military Training by Gary Caines

Mr. Caines, my former high school teacher, has been a great inspiration in my teaching career, and looking back, most likely one of the first “Non-Grown Ups” I encountered. He is and was a truly great teacher and I learned a lot about teaching, feminism, treating people fairly and equally, and having fun-just from being his student. I am so happy to live in a word where there are more people who have been taught by him, and I know the world is a better place because of it. Oh and did I mention he’s funny-well now he has a blog and you can see for yourself. Check it out and leave him a comment he’d love to hear from you! –Tara Audibert Co-Host No Such Thing as Grown Ups


BEd Assignment

During my time at St. Thomas we were given an assignment to interview two seasoned teachers and ask each for two pieces of advice. I asked Sister McCloskey how we were to define seasoned. She said that two or more years experience would be fine. That was good – it meant I could interview my brothers. I remember three of the four suggestions: READ MORE…

General Military training

I was in the Naval Reserve for 20 years (I could probably write a book just on my navy experiences). During my G.M.T. (General Military Training) we were required to run 1.5 miles each morning starting at 0600. My running buddy was Gord Edwards and we remain friends to this day. I would like to send a shout-out to Gord. He said something to me in 1978 that made a profound difference in my life and my teaching career. The conversation went like this: READ MORE…



Gary Caines is a retired teacher. During his 32 year career he taught in Newfoundland and New Brunswick and in private and public schools. He directed school musicals, coached rugby, is a recording artist, a past-master of the Masonic Lodge, and served as a volunteer ambulance driver. Oh, and something else of which he is proud, he is married with two beautiful children. In the spring of 2015 he became a grand-father.

He has a lot of stories to tell. Follow his wordpress for more stories each week!

101: People having Desires and Passions NO SUCH THING AS GROWN UPS PODCAST

LogoCircleGlassesRd

Real Grownups always say no. Why are you bringing Jesus into this? People have Desires and Passions. Chasing your dreams and drinking responsibly. Teaching How to make money with Art. Learning how to make money with Art. Perpetual underdog Sean Astin. How to get a job in comics. See us at HalCon Comic Con Saturday! No Such Thing as Grownup Teachers with Mr. Caines!
Ryan Atkinson loves comic books for you! Check out his new weekly Indie Comic & Pop Culture Reviews “No Such Thing as Reviews” on the NSTAGU Wordpress. Subscribe!

Listen now… and subscribe below.

Watch Garage Sale Tales and Subscribe to our Youtube Channel

Music by Brad Sucks

No Such Thing as Grown Up Teachers: Student Teaching #1 and Plans by Gary Caines

Mr. Caines, my former high school teacher, has been a great inspiration in my teaching career, and looking back, most likely one of the first “Non-Grown Ups” I encountered. He is and was a truly great teacher and I learned a lot about teaching, feminism, treating people fairly and equally, and having fun-just from being his student. I am so happy to live in a word where there are more people who have been taught by him, and I know the world is a better place because of it. Oh and did I mention he’s funny-well now he has a blog and you can see for yourself. Check it out and leave him a comment he’d love to hear from you! –Tara Audibert Co-Host No Such Thing as Grown Ups


Student Teaching # 1

I did my BEd at St. Thomas University. I had also received acceptance at UNB but having received my BSc there I thought it would be nice to have the experience of another university setting. I had a thoroughly enjoyable year at STU and learned a great deal. More on that later. READ MORE…

Plans

I have never forgiven the New Brunswick Liberal government of the 1990’s for adopting a business approach to education. It probably made sense to the bean-counters and politicians of the day but it certainly wasn’t a student-centred initiative. We continue to pay the price in this province. READ MORE…



Gary Caines is a retired teacher. During his 32 year career he taught in Newfoundland and New Brunswick and in private and public schools. He directed school musicals, coached rugby, is a recording artist, a past-master of the Masonic Lodge, and served as a volunteer ambulance driver. Oh, and something else of which he is proud, he is married with two beautiful children. In the spring of 2015 he became a grand-father.

He has a lot of stories to tell. Follow his wordpress for more stories each week!

100: Bringing Things to Life with Guns! NO SUCH THING AS GROW UPS PODCAST

LogoCircleGlassesBlue

Getting caught drinking in the basement. Kids with guns and candy. Extra imProvs! Controlling your dog’s brain and winning at online tests. The Rocky Horror Picture Show For the first time. A Rocky Horror Show Picture Show Art Book! Nerds Flooding the Streets! Live Show at Halcon Oct. 30! Girls road-trip! The Sacred Rules of CostCo! Adventures of Drunk Teacher Power Point! Zombies and Gun Safety!
Ryan Atkinson loves comic books for you! Check out his new weekly Indie Comic & Pop Culture Reviews “No Such Thing as Reviews” on the NSTAGU Wordpress. Subscribe!

Listen now… and subscribe below.

Watch Garage Sale Tales and Subscribe to our Youtube Channel

Music by Brad Sucks