An apprenticeship involves learning from an experienced professional while getting your hands dirty earning your own experience. It doesn't involve a King-like man giving vague challenges to a group of inexperienced gameshow contestants and encouraging them to fight like abused dogs.
If it does, I'm super glad I just went to college and got a job with those skills. If I had to jump into a completely new job I'd hope my new boss didn't try to get me to blame my co-workers for being mean on the playground. I would much rather that I could learn at the end of a super-new task... From an expert millionaire no less. But no, the King would much rather laugh at the incompetent maniacs. And pit volatile people against each other with simple verbal pokes and prods.
I'm taking about Celebrity Apprentice... Which is insane. Mostly because it's a gameshow for charity. The brain breaking part is the more money these people raise for their charities the more they forget they're raising money for charity... With celebrities. That's a fun thing. Like Celebrity Jeopardy isn't a 2 hour panic attack where people cry more than once an episode. It's fun instead.
These people have something fun or complicated to do and as soon as the start gun fires these adults and millionaires become The Lord of the Flies kids. They should be more like Lords of the dance... And their mentor should tell them that. Not just at the end either. I mean, isn't that what Mr. Trump's side kicks are for? They really just judge?
An ideal version would be to pick a leader then just do what that person would do how they would do it. Maybe you'll lose, but at least everyone is working on the same gameshow task instead of plotting to set everyone to receive more blame than themselves. It might not be as intense, but it's a game... For charity. It's too much like adding bulls to a fun-run for literacy. Yeah you might die, or have a mental breakdown... But it's for charity. Hate and revenge just doesn't mix in the same bowl as charity and when it does, it makes anxiety cake.
Who the hell keeps ordering anxiety cake instead of hilarious fun cake?!
Here's A play that's probably true:
Little Girl -Mommy? How did we pay for my super scary, life-or-death operation that saved for my life?
Mom - Oh, I have it DVRed right here... You see hunny, that woman said that other woman has a fake ass implant.
Little Girl - What?
Mom - So now, that ass implant woman is explaining how the other woman's husband left her for a younger prettier woman. While this other weird haired man is encouraging everyone to go nuts... Like a drunken Roman party from a million years ago.
Little Girl - I don't understand you mommy, I still feel so weak?
Mom - Anyway... That's why Lorenzo Lamas paid for your transplants.
Little Girl -Who's Lorenzo Lamas mommy?
Mom - Oh, he used to ride motorcycles with his shirt off on TV for mommies to watch.
Little Girl - Mommy?
The greatest player to ever play the game of Apprentice was J'il Jon. The fun little rapper with a heart of gold. He seemed to actually be on a gameshow in which he tried hard to win money for his charity and make his mom proud.
Rule one of any apprenticeship should always be... Do your best to make your mom proud. Especially if she can see you on TV being a shit head.
Say Ladybug in French 5 times fast-(Coccinelle) hehe -pervert! Its a brand new episode! We talk about our BPFF’s The Quadcast Podcast and how they got their name after much s̶t̶a̶l̶k̶i̶n̶g̶ sleuthing! Mixing up words, remember that movie The American Movie? & Coven, Town of the Dead and making your mark in the world, quadriplegic, celebrity apprentices, your period, Bill & Rudy Cosby, Dr. Melissa Wests, Yoga and our Patreon!!!