Tag Archives: rants

NSTAGU163: Autism Feet



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NSTAGU163: Autism Feet



This Week we Talk about going to the ECCE comic expo. Tara learns to play the Last Unicorn. How to Work at an animation Studio. Ones, Twos, and Threes. Improv Fun. Tara makes a Film at 24 frames per second! ADHD, Social Anxiety and Autism Feet. Greg selling his Hoardings. Be your best Mark Oakley. New Star Drop is on it’s way. Tara Goes to Therapy town.
#ComicCon #Ukulele #Anxiety #Therapy #Comics

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NSTAGU159: Wearing Clothes for Celebrities



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NSTAGU159: Wearing Clothes for Celebrities



This Week we hear a new song by Sam Davis. Keith Versus Sam and Tara’s Ukulele Teacher battle. Burke eating like a jerk. Fresh baby names. How to say words properly. Repeating people in the matrix. Pre-lived clothing. How many religions can I create. Saving money on taxes legally. Taxes for artists and entrepreneurs.
We’re at ECCE and Hal-Con This Year!
#DogSong #Ukulele #CelebrityOutfits #Artists

 

Watch and Subscribe on Youtube:
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Buy comics and books at our website:
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Instagram:
@NoSuchThingAsGrownUps

FaceBook:
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Watch and Subscribe on Youtube:
http://www.youtube.com/nosuchthingasgrownups
Buy comics and books at our website:
http://www.nosuchthingasgrownups.com

Subscribe and leave us a comment on iTunes:
https://tinyurl.com/jgd8y4w
Watch Morning Everybody:
http://tinyurl.com/gwdxdo5
Instagram:
@NoSuchThingAsGrownUps

FaceBook:
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NSTAGU150: Reverse Murder

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NSTAGU150: Reverse Murder

This Week we talk about Nuts and gratification. The frozen world and prepping versus hoarding. More Ukulele fun and improvised hilarity! What if A game show host ran a country. Hoarders that don’t know they hoard. Flushing in the apocalypse. And more Dog breathing. Stop motion Club. #Power #howitworks #Ukulele #goodperson #hoarding Watch Morning Everybody  http://tinyurl.com/gwdxdo5

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Music by Brad Sucks

85: Sometimes Doing ‘You’ means being a Stabbing Maniac-Orange is the New Black Special NO SUCH THING AS GROWN UPS PODCAST

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OK Tara’s back at it again, she watches waaay to much prison shows! It’s all Orange instead of Black all day long! Find out which “Friend” we are, Tara’s most embarrassing moment, why Curtis was a bad student (in skit form). We get enraged about Prisons, and Parents teaching socialist values. Woman on the Edge of Time is Tara’s new favourite book of all time, learn about Feminist Anarchy! Eat your French Fried Vegetables, Baby Jason Smashes, Nick Cross’ Yellow Cake!

Come and visit us at Animaritime this weekend June 26-28, 2015! 

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Music by Brad Sucks

No Such Thing as Blog Rants: Not Today Winter by Curtis Carey

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Not Today Winter! Not Today!

When I used to take busses and taxis to get to and from work, I felt safe. No matter what kind of road conditions I believed these drivers were the best of the best. Each and every one of them hired like the men in black. Because they’re all Will Smiths and they make really good decisions in regards to driving. So I never really cared about the snow, other than the cold and mess. There was always a professional snow-driver to take care of us all.

After you see a few buses and cabs in a snow bank or flipped into a ditch, you realize that nobody is better than winter. Nobody.

Everybody has a tale of driving through a day of winter and surviving in spite of zero visibility and minimal traction to the icy ground. A lot of the time it’s to make it back home and feel safe and warm again. Other times it’s to get to work. So… How long until I get trapped there?

Now that I live in the woods and drive into town to work I worry about if it will snow… later. Not really because I’ll be trapped at my office. The wether in town is usually fine and reasonable. It’s still winter, but when I’m in town I don’t feel like winter is trying to win a fight that we are having. When I attempt to drive back into the woods, I discover that’s where this country is keeping all of its winter. Like, all of it.

Today, for example, my road is already a white area made of snow that trucks leave tire tracks in. It’s totally passable… I think. But if it snows while I’m at work that passable road makes me constantantly think, “I have snow tires, I have snow tires, I have snow tires!” While I try not to slide off into a ditch or embankment. Because snow-tires are not magic. Not at all.

They make a difference, I’m sure of it. But they’re not magnetic science tires… They’re tires. Made of rubber, just like the summer tires except with different traction grooves carved into them. So I can trust them to help out, but there’s a dip in my road that I think is working together with winter to create a death trap. So far so good, but some days I arrive at the dip and look at the sky and say, “Not today jerks, I know you two are up to something!”

I have everything right here at home to work so it’s not that big of a deal if I don’t risk a white road occasionally. But a lot of people don’t have that option. I recently picked up a hitch hiker who happened to be the garbage man for most of the town. It was about a million below zero and he still had a long way to go from where I had dropped him off. This is after this guy spends most days hanging on a truck and picking up frozen garbage. That’s insane. Worse is he now has to trust whatever maniac that picks him up to have snow tires and be able to drive in winter without killing them both.

When I was a kid I really wanted to be a garbage man. Something about it just seemed so different than everything else. But then I was reminded that you have to do it winter too. Plus you have to hang on the back, they won’t let you jump in and out of the cab of the truck. So, that dream was destroyed by winter… And the smell of garbage.

Winter is hard to beat, it’s best to avoid a confrontation. I would never fight a bear because I can’t win, and bears don’t stick around to fight winter. Therefore I’m not picking a fight with the thing that is tougher than a bear.

Some times it’s okay not to fight the entire environment.

Some times.

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Curtis Carey is the co-host of No Such Thing as Grown Ups Podcast. In his spare time he stop motions TMNT figurines on Vine, draws comics and animates videos about a diabetic cat MILO, he is also the art director at Eggroll Digital Studios making games for your phones like NSTAGU 7 Minutes 2 Survive!

No Such Thing as Blog Rants: How to be the Best Apprentice by Curtis Carey

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An apprenticeship involves learning from an experienced professional while getting your hands dirty earning your own experience. It doesn't involve a King-like man giving vague challenges to a group of inexperienced gameshow contestants and encouraging them to fight like abused dogs.

If it does, I'm super glad I just went to college and got a job with those skills. If I had to jump into a completely new job I'd hope my new boss didn't try to get me to blame my co-workers for being mean on the playground. I would much rather that I could learn at the end of a super-new task... From an expert millionaire no less. But no, the King would much rather laugh at the incompetent maniacs. And pit volatile people against each other with simple verbal pokes and prods.

I'm taking about Celebrity Apprentice... Which is insane. Mostly because it's a gameshow for charity. The brain breaking part is the more money these people raise for their charities the more they forget they're raising money for charity... With celebrities. That's a fun thing. Like Celebrity Jeopardy isn't a 2 hour panic attack where people cry more than once an episode. It's fun instead.

These people have something fun or complicated to do and as soon as the start gun fires these adults and millionaires become The Lord of the Flies kids. They should be more like Lords of the dance... And their mentor should tell them that. Not just at the end either. I mean, isn't that what Mr. Trump's side kicks are for? They really just judge?

An ideal version would be to pick a leader then just do what that person would do how they would do it. Maybe you'll lose, but at least everyone is working on the same gameshow task instead of plotting to set everyone to receive more blame than themselves. It might not be as intense, but it's a game... For charity. It's too much like adding bulls to a fun-run for literacy. Yeah you might die, or have a mental breakdown... But it's for charity. Hate and revenge just doesn't mix in the same bowl as charity and when it does, it makes anxiety cake.

Who the hell keeps ordering anxiety cake instead of hilarious fun cake?!

Here's A play that's probably true:

Little Girl -Mommy? How did we pay for my super scary, life-or-death operation that saved for my life?

Mom - Oh, I have it DVRed right here... You see hunny, that woman said that other woman has a fake ass implant.

Little Girl - What?

Mom - So now, that ass implant woman is explaining how the other woman's husband left her for a younger prettier woman. While this other weird haired man is encouraging everyone to go nuts... Like a drunken Roman party from a million years ago.

Little Girl - I don't understand you mommy, I still feel so weak?

Mom - Anyway... That's why Lorenzo Lamas paid for your transplants.

Little Girl -Who's Lorenzo Lamas mommy?

Mom - Oh, he used to ride motorcycles with his shirt off on TV for mommies to watch.

Little Girl - Mommy?

The end.

The greatest player to ever play the game of Apprentice was J'il Jon. The fun little rapper with a heart of gold. He seemed to actually be on a gameshow in which he tried hard to win money for his charity and make his mom proud.

Rule one of any apprenticeship should always be... Do your best to make your mom proud. Especially if she can see you on TV being a shit head.

Especially.

Curtis Carey is the co-host of No Such Thing as Grown Ups Podcast. In his spare time he stop motions TMNT figurines on Vine, draws comics and animates videos about a diabetic cat MILO, he is also the art director at Eggroll Digital Studios making games for your phones like NSTAGU 7 Minutes 2 Survive!

No Such ThIng as Blog Rants: Things that Look Dangerous are Closer than they Appear by Curtis Carey

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There's no such thing as things that look dangerous

Everyday on the news and in real life somebody loses a limb or is horribly disfigured because they touched something and it happened to be dangerous.
However, in most circumstances the thing they touched…looked super dangerous.
Simple common sense rules I like to tell myself are:
If it looks dangerous…Don’t touch it, because it probably is in fact a danger to you and/or your fingers.
Does it look sharp?…then be more careful.
Does it look like it’ll bite?…well it might. So watch yourself.
Can I survive a fall from here?.... No, find stairs and go home.

I once shared an office with two good friends. People I really trusted and had a lot of great laughs, while also getting a lot of work done. One day I walked into the office and began to sit in my chair, as a trusting guy tends to do. My good friends yelled and screamed like I was jumping out the window and they were very concerned for my safety.

What had happened was: the boys thought it would be funny if I came in, turned my desk chair around, and found two pairs of scissors wedged between the back and the seat of the chair. Both open and pointing out sharply toward the area when my spine would go.

But I didn’t notice the hilarious visual gag that was so obvious a person could not possiblymiss out on it.
I was too busy feeling like I had something on my face. Two people were looking at my face waiting for my reaction. So I looked and them and asked, "What? what's wrong with me?" refusing to look away I almost turned it into a physical gag that we could laugh about all the way to the hospital.
They jumped and said hey look at your chair and various other insane things to yell about a silly-sharp-scissor-trap. So it turned out to be super funny.

Just because I believed that the chair was soft, did not mean It didn’t look sharp as well. So I always check for sharpness even if it might just be for a hilarious stabbing joke. Just look around and use common sense instead if cobra bites, crazy car accidents and scissors to the spine.

The end.
Curtis Carey is the co-host of No Such Thing as Grown Ups Podcast. In his spare time he stop motions TMNT figurines on Vine, draws comics and animates videos about a diabetic cat MILO, he is also the art director at Eggroll Digital Studios making games for your phones like NSTAGU 7 Minutes 2 Survive!